I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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