Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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