Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
