It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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