i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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