No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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