i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We have started to decorate penises.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
