i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
