I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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