I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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