If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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