My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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