There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
