does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize