Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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