I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize