i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
