just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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