so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
