if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
