the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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