Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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