It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
