He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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