Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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