So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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