Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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