I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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