I wish I could punch you in the face.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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