I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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