Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
