I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
