please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
