And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
