we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
