OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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