It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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