woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
