i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
