is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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