One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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