so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
