I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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