the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
