What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
