just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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