Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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