I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize