what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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