Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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