i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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