I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
