I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize