i will never coherently bang her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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