i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
